Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Parent Job Description

I saw this on another blog and thought it was so funny!!

POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
JOB DESCRIPTION : Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES :The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION : None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION :Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS :While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; thisjob supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

9 comments:

AnnDeO said...

Nat, I will get the photo of Grandpa and Erika to you. The funeral was very melancholy... it's as if we have had everything taken out from us - not much left to give. Kristi and Corey did tell a funny story though, Erika would drive along Henefer road much too fast and once when they were with her a neighbors dog was in the middle of the road and without slowing down or missing a beat she said with her cute German accent, "move over rover". Hope all is well. Give the girls a hug for me. Love, Aunt Dee.

Anonymous said...

I would TOTALLY! re-do your blog! just email me the password and like the colors or ideas you want and also pictures you want on the header!

Dani said...

Its time to admit I'm a blog stalker and since you have an invite to my private blog, I'm adding you to my list of favorites. You are so cute! And I know we would be friends if we ever got the chance to know each other- so lets be blog buddies.
Your girls are adorable and I do enjoy your blog also.

Melanie Falater said...

Nat-
I love the new look on your blog! This job description is so funny...and so true and I LOVE being a mom! Hop eyou guys are having a good summer...

Unknown said...

That's really funny (and true)! I also love the new look of your blog!! Did you do that? If so, how?

Kaitlan said...

Nat! Your blog is so cute! How did you do that!?

AnnDeO said...

Nat,
I went to see Mamma Mia with grandpa Doug and he giggled and laughed through the whole movie and remarked that it was just a "feel-good show", so maybe there is a slight chance that Bryan would like it.
Good Luck with that. Dee

Sara said...

So true!! I love the new layout, your blog is always so stinkin' cute! I am due January 13th btw.
:-) But we're hoping he comes a little early ... like December 29th because of our dumb insurance. (Long story) ;-)

miss dawn said...

I miss you guys so much! I can't wait to see you! I hope everything is going well! o gosh I can't wait to be with all of you again! Love you guys!


Here we are at the top of Niah's castle!


Here's Niah and her best friend Addi playing in the dirt!

Bryan's favorite things:

  • BYU Football
  • Pandora.com
  • Surfing the Internet
  • Mountain Biking
  • Homemade Cinnamon Rolls
  • Kayaking

Natalie's Favorite Things

  • Naps
  • Blogging
  • Cooking
  • Going on dates with Bryan
  • Reading good books
  • Being a mom

Niah's Favorite Things

  • Hannah Montana
  • 101 Dalmatians
  • High School Musical
  • Reading books with her dad
  • Singing
  • Disney Princesses
  • Playing outside with her friends

Chloe's Favorite Things

  • Being outside
  • Her binki
  • Bananas
  • Macaroni and Cheese
  • Playing with Niah
  • Taking a bath